Letdown

It's far too quiet. I can hear the rumble of a few cars driving by and the soft tap of the rain on the windows and the ticking of the clock, but it still feels quiet because those are not things you normally hear when you are occupied. I tried watching television, but became bored with it and I'm too tired to do actual work, but not tired enough to go to bed. Tim's home, but he was so exhausted from his trip that he went to bed over an hour ago.

When I started to write earlier in the day, I was going to be more upbeat and tell you about everything wonderful that happened this weekend, but I was distracted by one thing or another. Now it's several hours later and I just feel zapped of energy and I don't feel like I can be particularly entertaining right now. I'd spare you the trouble of reading this, but it's far too quiet and my mind gets a little loud.

There's a beautiful pattern on the sunroom window where the rain has hit and it's illuminated by the orange-yellow light from the street. I'd love to photograph it, but it would never come across like I'm seeing it and I have a cat sleeping up against me. It's cold in the apartment tonight and the tip of my nose feels like an ice cube.I hate the feeling I get after a good trip or a holiday or anything else that there was build up for. I love having things to look forward to and I don't like it when there's one less. I'm selfish like that. Thank goodness that I made tomorrow my day off for the week. I just don't feel like being the PA and turning all my sympathy and sincerity on. I feel like being a selfish melancholy bitch, and none of those combine well with medicine.

The clock makes a distinctive noise when it changes hours. I got up and the cats stole my blanket and it's too cold in here to go without.