Interview with the Mackpire

Dear Everyone,

Mackenzie and I are awesome, aside from when she quotes "She's All That" and points out her disturbance that Rachel Leigh Cook catches Freddie Prinze Jr's penis ball at the end of the movie. So far we have to gone to Sheetz, had a Sheetz hangover and spilled water on the coffee table. We are very exciting people. Oh, and I also played the wordfinder game on Mack's phone and managed to get "joy," "vagina" and "testicles" one round. The world is proud.
I may have seen a dead turkey on the side of the road. Mack doesn't like talking to the world, but I am going to make her. Thus begins my interview with Mackenzie.....

Laura: Would you catch Freddie Prinze Jr's penis ball?
Mackenzie: No, I don't want his penis ball. But I do like the creepy girl behind him who's checking out his ass.
L: Would you catch anyone else's penis ball?
M: Heenheheenheheh.
L: Is that your creeper laugh?
M: Yes
L: Mack, is every Saturday "Faturday"
M: Yes, it's a weekly ritual of unhealthiness
Mack goes upstairs presumably to get something or pee, but possibly is just trying to get away from me. Bitch shouldn't have invited me to Erie, that's all I'm saying. I think she's passing a kidney stone.
L: Mack, if you had a wedding registry, what would you register for?
M: This is a hard question cause I could go two ways with it. I don't like that you type everything I write.
L: Deal. And that doesn't make sense
M: That I say.
L: Once again, deal with it.
M: I could either make fun of registeries or legitimately think of thngs I like.
L: Up to you, Mama Macky. SUCK IT YANKEES! INDIANS THREE RUN HOME RUN!
M: (strokes chin) I want a chemistry set with beaker mugs and test tube shot glasses.
L: Would your husband be allowed to drink out of them?
M: Yes.
L: Would I?
M: Hmmm...yes.
L: Would I have to pay you money first or are you actually going to be cool and let your friend drink for free?
M: (long pause)
L: Okay, I think you answered that one, ass fairy. That was going to say ass face but I spelled it wrong and kept going.
M: Okay, Sheetz
L: You want to register for Sheetz or do I have to give you Sheetz in order to use the magical chemistry set glasses?
M: Both. Mmmm, Sheetz. BUT NO JONES SODA!
L: I know, Sheetz didn't have any Jones Soda today. Does that make you angry, Mack?
M: Grrrr.
L: If you could slap any celebrity, who would you slap?
M: George Bush. The W.
L: Anyone less presidential, you know, so secret service wouldn't kick your ass?
M: Well, I want to slap someone that not everyone would slap, so I could be known as the one who slapped him. Do the Real Housewives of Atlanta count? Because I want to slap all of them collectively.
L: Would you slap each one individually, or would you slap one and they'd fall over into each other like dominoes?
M: They'd be in a line and I'd slap each one as I went by.
L: You know who creeps me out? The millionaire matchmaker. Next question, what is her deal?
M: She has weird bangs
L: She has a weird genetic code making up her face. The bangs just highlight that. And yes, you can eat my chips, thanks for not asking.
M: Yummah. They smelled good.
L: Do you do that at restaurants too? Should I be on guard at O'Charley's tonight?
M: Yes, I'll steal your rolls.
L: Dirty. Dude, Mack just took a bite out of a Twizzler then hit me in the face with it. I think I have Mack spit on my cheek

M: No, I slapped you with the end that I didn't put in my mouth.
L: Dirty.
M: I can't find my Indians shirt. Do you think I maybe left it at your mom's apartment?
L: My mom has an apartment? And she invites you there without me
M: She's my mom now too, bitch. Posada just got hit with a ball in his crotch. Well, not in his crotch.
L: Mack, please don't tell me people got ball-crotched when they didn't. Where did he really get hit?
M: In the inner thigh
L: Please learn the difference between inner thighs and genitalia.
M: How do you get an ERA of 30?
L: Maybe from getting hit in the inner thighs and/or genitals.
M: He hit him with a non-genitalia ball that hit him in the inner thigh.
L: What?
M: I explained myself quite clearly. That guy had 22 earned runs in six innings this season. His name should not be pronounced "Wong" - It's clearly spelled "Wang".
L: If you had a baseball team, what would you name it?
M: Where is my baseball team located?
L: Where would you like your baseball team to be located?
M: Intercourse, PA. And they would be the Intercourse Non-Genitalia Ballers.
L: Classy.

Conversation was abruptly ended as computer started to die.

M: You are the weakest link, goodbye.