Intestinal Paranoia

I’ve decided that there should be a rule that if you’re exposed to an illness, you should know whether you’re going to get sick or not. Tim has stomach flu vs. food poisoning (and while we’re at it, can we find a way to better distinguish between these?) and I’ve been nervous since Monday morning. Every time I burp or my stomach twinges (which is quite often, especially considering the whole IBS thing), I’m convinced that I’m getting sick. I don’t want to be sick at all, but if I’m going to be, I’d like to know when and where. If someone could say, “Laura, you’re going to want to be in the vicinity of a bathroom around 1 pm on Wednesday,” I would at least be somewhat relieved. I’d know that I should get any vital tasks done right away and take the day off. And if someone were to say, “Laura, this whole thing is going to pass you by, go ahead and eat that enchilada,” even better.

Not that I currently want an enchilada. My appetite went down a couple of hours before I got the fateful stomach flu vs. food poisoning phone call and it hasn’t quite returned. My appetite does this from time to time, so I’m left wondering if this is (a) normal, (b) started off normal and has been perpetuated by the intestinal paranoia, (c) is a mild form of what Tim has, or (d) is the beginning of what Tim has.

I think this is the only time when it’s acceptable to wish that your husband had food poisoning.

This is what flu anxiety does to you. That’s why the illness rule needs to come into effect. I’m not asking for information about life threatening conditions, I just need to know if my stomach really hurts or if it’s just my brain talking.