So Long

Today was my going-away party at work. I'm not going-away till tomorrow, but I think they had it today so Linda and a couple other people could be there. I think never quite decided whether they wanted it to be a surprise or not because there was a lot of whispering and being quiet when I entered the room, but I had two people pretty much tell me about it, one directly and one indirectly, and they put up the sign-up sheet in the nurse's conference room, where I frequent on a regular basis to check for announcements (and cookies).

It was very sweet, even though I feel extremely awkward in situations like this. I wish it wasn't the case, but I have a habit of feeling sheepish and almost nervous when attention is focused on me in a positive way. There was a bakery cake which tasted amazing, which is abnormal for me because I usually hate bakery cake. I ate entirely too much and was pretty sugar drunk for the remainder of the workday. A bunch of people chipped in for a gift certificate to a nice restaurant in Cincinnati which I'm very much looking forward to going to. Louann made me this ridiculous yet amazing T-shirt covered in puffy paint with all these sayings and everyones names on it - The best part of it is where she drew a bone marrow biopsy needle sticking out of where the hip would fall on me. I complain about that woman constantly and quite possibly will complain about her tomorrow when she inevitably does some sort of controlling thing, but damn if I don't get a little choked up when I think of her taking all that time to do something nice for me. I doubt I'll ever wear it, but looking at it makes me smile so much.

I can't say that I expected it, but I really am a little sad right now. I bitch and moan about work, but there are definite aspects and people in this place that I will miss with all of my heart. It's weird to look at someone and realize that you might not see them again when they've been such a huge part of your life for nearly a year. A group of people gave me a home for the last ten months and let me do a job that I've been waiting to do for so long. Some people weren't what I expected and how I handled death wasn't really what I expected either, but I really was welcome here and that means so much to me. And everyone keeps telling me that they're expecting me to come back when we return to Cleveland. It's kind of like that t-shirt they gave me - I'll probably never use it, but it's nice to know it's there.

So thank you for my job, bone marrow transplant team. Thank you for putting up with a brand new graduate and teaching her so many interesting and important things. Tonight I'm sad, but tomorrow I'll be celebrating because I get another chance to see if I can truly truly love the field I'm in and not just the position I have. And the three weeks of paid vacation doesn't hurt much either.