Smoot and 3/4

If you read this article, you'll find that a "Smoot" measures 5 feet 7 inches. I find that beyond awesome because (a) It's called a "Smoot" (most of you remember my love for the word following the discovery of the Hawley-Smoot Tariff ) and (b) I measure 5'7" and 3/4. This now means that whenever I'm asked my height, instead of rounded up to 5'8" like I normally do, I can proudly say "Well sir, I measure a Smoot and three-quarters" to which the inquisitive fellow would simply nod and smile. If I ever go missing, make sure they describe me as "blonde hair, blue eyes, Smoot and 3/4 tall...."

The only way this could get any better is if they decide that 3/4 inch is now a "Hawley". Then I'd definitely go down to the BMV so the height on my driver's license could read "Hawley-Smoot". This is totally the best thing that's happened today, which I guess isn't hard considering the other events of my day have been having a cold and lifting my big toenail partially off the nailbed. That hurts, even if you're a Hawley-Smoot tall.