Absofrigginlutely

This week is taking absofrigginlutely forever to finish, and I still have two days to go. I'm working a Saturday for the first time in my bone marrow history, and I'm actually looking forward to it a bit. For one, you're allowed to leave as soon as you're done with your notes and I'm working with Linda and Lisa (the fellow). Normally only one PA works the weekend, but they want me to work a couple weekends with senior PAs before I take one on by my lonesome. Even though I'm not going to be doing weekends on my own till June, I figured now is a good time because I'm pretty booked up on weekends for the next two months. Plus our service is really busy right now, so I wanted to come in on a weekend where it'd actually be worth it.

So this means I get Sunday and Monday off, then work three days, then on Friday we're heading to Illinois for Lindsay and Bryan's wedding. Despite the seven hour car ride, it'll be nice to get out of town and see an old friend get married to a really nice guy. I'm also really looking forward to the weekend of the 15th - My grandparents are coming in town from New Jersey, which is no surprise because they usually come every May and November, but this time they're bringing my great Aunt Jean with them. I'm so happy to see her, since I so rarely get to and I haven't seen her since my Uncle Hak died earlier this year. I know she really wanted to come to Ohio for the wedding and wasn't able to, so I'm glad that she can make it now.

I was about to ask everyone what I should eat for dinner, but I realized that by the time I get home and post this, I'll hopefully have eaten. I really shouldn't think about it too much because I'll decide on something and then it'll be gone or something will be wrong with it and then I'll have dinner rage.

I think there's actually something for me to do right now, so I'm going to go do that.

You and Me and the BFZ

On Friday Mike, Sarah and later Peter came over for Cavs, and Scattergories, which is apparently the activity of choice for anyone who comes to our apartment (well, whenever Mike's involved, at least). My favorite moment was when both Mike and Sarah listed "Dudes" as "Things in a Park," and when Mike decided that "Things at the Beach" should include truckers, but not tan people.

On Saturday I walked about five miles, which was actually easier than I expected and I was barely sore at all. I managed to run into both of my parents on this walk (well, I guess I actually walked to my mom, but it was weird that I ran into my dad, nonetheless). A little later Tim and I hopped on the Rapid and went to the Indians game. The seats were wonderful, the weather was beautiful and the Indians sucked. Hard. I did almost run into Mustard from the hot dog race and came very close to getting to meet Bob Feller (damn the publicity bitch who closed the line a full half-hour before she was supposed to), so it wasn't a complete bust. Despite the pain of watching the Tribe, I was very happy to be watching a game in person again (thanks for the Christmas gift Tim - really).

Sunday was probably my favorite day of all, despite the first appearance of the BFZ*. One of the couples from Tim's church had their 40th anniversary lunch right after the service and invited all the members to join them. From there we went to my parents (with our two lazy cats in tow...seriously, they slept under the couch almost the entire time). After we ate dinner, we walked around Edgewater Park and then went down to the Metroparks where we were literally ten feet from a deer (which I naturally named Ollie). I ended the night sitting on Kristen's front porch, drinking a margarita. I like front porches and margaritas and since I'm lacking the former, it was very nice to have someone who was willing to provide both.

*The BFZ stands for "Big Fucking Zit" and it currently resides directly underneath my left eye, though I am fearful that it will spread to my entire face and then everyone will call me the BFZ, and Roald Dahl will certainly not write a book about it.

Rambly

Okay, thus begins attempt number two of my eating healthier, exercising more, not calling it a diet because I don't enjoy the connotations of the word...maybe I should come up with an acronym for that. Or maybe I'll just call it my "be less ginormous plan". It's a scary place for me to be. I've been reading food articles I come across online and have become somewhat addicted to the articles on "Eat this, not that". Then I start wondering if I do lose weight, what percent of it will be my boobs (answer: 95%), and if I were to cut off my leg, just how much weight would that be? I really am curious on what the loss of a limb does for your body weight. I mean, your BMI would go down because you lost weight, but what if you were still scary huge on the rest of you? I wonder if the BMI has an asterisk for that one, as in *normal weight unless you lost your leg in a freak lawnmower accident.

I've decided that I should go up to Erie more often, despite the closing of my long-time love Papa Joe's (yes I know I just spent the above paragraph talking about eating healthier, but this place holds sentimental value to me, not to mention the value of the taste of their pizza...you will be missed). As evidenced by my last entry, I had a lot of fun with Mack, and I really enjoyed meeting everyone (and hanging out with Adrienne again...Why couldn't you have been in school when I was?).

I'm writing in bed and I'm starting (well really continuing) to get sleepy, so I think I'm going to sign off for tonight.

Letdown

It's far too quiet. I can hear the rumble of a few cars driving by and the soft tap of the rain on the windows and the ticking of the clock, but it still feels quiet because those are not things you normally hear when you are occupied. I tried watching television, but became bored with it and I'm too tired to do actual work, but not tired enough to go to bed. Tim's home, but he was so exhausted from his trip that he went to bed over an hour ago.

When I started to write earlier in the day, I was going to be more upbeat and tell you about everything wonderful that happened this weekend, but I was distracted by one thing or another. Now it's several hours later and I just feel zapped of energy and I don't feel like I can be particularly entertaining right now. I'd spare you the trouble of reading this, but it's far too quiet and my mind gets a little loud.

There's a beautiful pattern on the sunroom window where the rain has hit and it's illuminated by the orange-yellow light from the street. I'd love to photograph it, but it would never come across like I'm seeing it and I have a cat sleeping up against me. It's cold in the apartment tonight and the tip of my nose feels like an ice cube.I hate the feeling I get after a good trip or a holiday or anything else that there was build up for. I love having things to look forward to and I don't like it when there's one less. I'm selfish like that. Thank goodness that I made tomorrow my day off for the week. I just don't feel like being the PA and turning all my sympathy and sincerity on. I feel like being a selfish melancholy bitch, and none of those combine well with medicine.

The clock makes a distinctive noise when it changes hours. I got up and the cats stole my blanket and it's too cold in here to go without.

Interview with the Mackpire

Dear Everyone,

Mackenzie and I are awesome, aside from when she quotes "She's All That" and points out her disturbance that Rachel Leigh Cook catches Freddie Prinze Jr's penis ball at the end of the movie. So far we have to gone to Sheetz, had a Sheetz hangover and spilled water on the coffee table. We are very exciting people. Oh, and I also played the wordfinder game on Mack's phone and managed to get "joy," "vagina" and "testicles" one round. The world is proud.
I may have seen a dead turkey on the side of the road. Mack doesn't like talking to the world, but I am going to make her. Thus begins my interview with Mackenzie.....

Laura: Would you catch Freddie Prinze Jr's penis ball?
Mackenzie: No, I don't want his penis ball. But I do like the creepy girl behind him who's checking out his ass.
L: Would you catch anyone else's penis ball?
M: Heenheheenheheh.
L: Is that your creeper laugh?
M: Yes
L: Mack, is every Saturday "Faturday"
M: Yes, it's a weekly ritual of unhealthiness
Mack goes upstairs presumably to get something or pee, but possibly is just trying to get away from me. Bitch shouldn't have invited me to Erie, that's all I'm saying. I think she's passing a kidney stone.
L: Mack, if you had a wedding registry, what would you register for?
M: This is a hard question cause I could go two ways with it. I don't like that you type everything I write.
L: Deal. And that doesn't make sense
M: That I say.
L: Once again, deal with it.
M: I could either make fun of registeries or legitimately think of thngs I like.
L: Up to you, Mama Macky. SUCK IT YANKEES! INDIANS THREE RUN HOME RUN!
M: (strokes chin) I want a chemistry set with beaker mugs and test tube shot glasses.
L: Would your husband be allowed to drink out of them?
M: Yes.
L: Would I?
M: Hmmm...yes.
L: Would I have to pay you money first or are you actually going to be cool and let your friend drink for free?
M: (long pause)
L: Okay, I think you answered that one, ass fairy. That was going to say ass face but I spelled it wrong and kept going.
M: Okay, Sheetz
L: You want to register for Sheetz or do I have to give you Sheetz in order to use the magical chemistry set glasses?
M: Both. Mmmm, Sheetz. BUT NO JONES SODA!
L: I know, Sheetz didn't have any Jones Soda today. Does that make you angry, Mack?
M: Grrrr.
L: If you could slap any celebrity, who would you slap?
M: George Bush. The W.
L: Anyone less presidential, you know, so secret service wouldn't kick your ass?
M: Well, I want to slap someone that not everyone would slap, so I could be known as the one who slapped him. Do the Real Housewives of Atlanta count? Because I want to slap all of them collectively.
L: Would you slap each one individually, or would you slap one and they'd fall over into each other like dominoes?
M: They'd be in a line and I'd slap each one as I went by.
L: You know who creeps me out? The millionaire matchmaker. Next question, what is her deal?
M: She has weird bangs
L: She has a weird genetic code making up her face. The bangs just highlight that. And yes, you can eat my chips, thanks for not asking.
M: Yummah. They smelled good.
L: Do you do that at restaurants too? Should I be on guard at O'Charley's tonight?
M: Yes, I'll steal your rolls.
L: Dirty. Dude, Mack just took a bite out of a Twizzler then hit me in the face with it. I think I have Mack spit on my cheek

M: No, I slapped you with the end that I didn't put in my mouth.
L: Dirty.
M: I can't find my Indians shirt. Do you think I maybe left it at your mom's apartment?
L: My mom has an apartment? And she invites you there without me
M: She's my mom now too, bitch. Posada just got hit with a ball in his crotch. Well, not in his crotch.
L: Mack, please don't tell me people got ball-crotched when they didn't. Where did he really get hit?
M: In the inner thigh
L: Please learn the difference between inner thighs and genitalia.
M: How do you get an ERA of 30?
L: Maybe from getting hit in the inner thighs and/or genitals.
M: He hit him with a non-genitalia ball that hit him in the inner thigh.
L: What?
M: I explained myself quite clearly. That guy had 22 earned runs in six innings this season. His name should not be pronounced "Wong" - It's clearly spelled "Wang".
L: If you had a baseball team, what would you name it?
M: Where is my baseball team located?
L: Where would you like your baseball team to be located?
M: Intercourse, PA. And they would be the Intercourse Non-Genitalia Ballers.
L: Classy.

Conversation was abruptly ended as computer started to die.

M: You are the weakest link, goodbye.

Armpit Bump Thing

- I've got a bump thing on the edge of my left armpit. It doesn't hurt if I leave it alone, but of course I can't leave it alone. It's too superficial to be a developing lymph node and it doesn't feel like it's a zit, so I'm using the highly medical term "armpit bump thing" to describe it.
- I love the geese who hang out in the park on MLK. It's getting close to the time when they have goslings, so that makes me happy (following the mathematical formula "Laura + seeing baby animals = squealing and general happiness")
- I get the urge to vomit every time I see CC Sabathia in a Yankees cap. Which is quite often because I keep checking the Indians score. I'm still a little disappointed that Grady didn't hit a home run on CC's first pitch to get the first home run in the new damn stadium
- I fucking hate the Yankees.
- I think I hate the Red Sox more. Why is it that Boston and New York fans are so damn annoying? I can deal with Chicago and Detroit and we're basically soul sisters with Kansas City. It's just those bitch asses of the East that annoy the crap out of me.
- And the Atlanta Braves. But that's left over from the 90s.
- I need to wake up a little more if I'm going to see the orchestra tonight (working under the assumption that I'll actually get out of here on time). I wish it wasn't looked down on to bring something with you (like cross-stitching or even a sketchbook) to the orchestra because I actually pay attention more when my hands are busy.
- Yes, that is what she said.
- This bullet point is reserved for thanking my dear old mom (in a very real and legally binding way) for watching los gatos this weekend. Tim's in NY starting Friday and I'm in Erie on Saturday/Sunday, so Grover and Moxy will very much appreciate the feeding and general company.
- The Indians are now beating the Yankees 10-1. Why can't I be watching this game?
- Speaking of things I wish that I could watch instead of working, Tim got me How I Met Your Mother season one for Easter, only I didn't actually get it until last night (it was in Tim's nightstand and not my Easter basket, like he thought) so I haven't watched any of it yet.
- Rounds starting, have to go now....

Cold Low Battery

I'm freezing cold right now. I want to layer myself in the pages coming out of the printer. If only I had a pile of laundry to drop on myself, now that would be perfection. I do realize that I'm in a hospital with blankets, but I'd feel a little lame sitting here all huddled up in a hospital blankets. I remember when my apartment in Erie used to get really cold, I'd sit at my desk with a blanket over me, then I'd put a tea kettle on my lap to warm me up. I know that I also had the ability to turn up the heat there, but we were cheap and gas was expensive. It actually worked very well, and I think if I had one right now, I'd put in on my lap.

My battery is running low. I don't know if I'm sleeping poorly, suffering at the hands of paxil (which I've been off now for over a week), am getting sick (the coldness/headache I have may be indicative or part of the above), or if I'm just sick and tired of being at work.

I cannot wait for the weekend - There's the Indians home opener on Friday (which better not be a repeat of Monday afternoon's game) with Peter's birthday celebration that night. There's baking with my mom on Saturday and just the pleasantness of having the day off (I may require a movie and puzzle because I am that lame). And Sunday, of course is Easter. I'm potentially going to Sunrise service (I love sunrise service, but it's early and cold, and I'm a wimp-ass), then we're going to Tim's church for breakfast, my church at 11, possibly stopping over at my parent's before heading over to Tim's cousin's at 3, and then going to my grandparent's for dinner. I know, you absolutely needed to know all that, but I needed to straighten it out in writing. I love holidays. I wish they happened more often.

I went to Target and bought myself a triple feature DVD that includes I, Robot, The Day After Tomorrow and the best thing in the world - Independence Day. I did not set out to buy stuff for myself, but it only cost 13 dollars for all three movies. I simply had to do it. I need to go figure out if my elliptical will go above level one or if it's already breaking. It better not be.

Short

Slap on the wrist for not writing more. I blame the following: having a life for part of this weekend, Cincinnati hunting, lethargy, and having Moxy sit on my lap for an hour straight last night (so I suppose my not wanting to move her also played a role in the not writing). Like I said last week, I'm very excited about Cincinnati but am a tad overwhelmed with answering all the questions it brings up. Enough about that for now, because (a) I don't really care to go into it and (b) Everything will work out itself soon enough.

Weekend was for the most part fantastic. We took Tim out to dinner on Friday night to celebrate and I learned that drinking three margaritas so rapidly was probably not my greatest idea. Actually, I'm not sure if it was three margaritas - Might have been more, might have been less - I kept adding some to my glass following the second one. Anyway, it was tasty good and I wasn't too obnoxious (I hope). I've decided that Sarah is my ultimate Cranium wing man. She is practically psychic about the answers (example - guesses "watermelon" from a half drawn circle). She also managed to get us to guess "tofu" in charades, which I find very impressive. I've also decided that "Saved by the Bell" is perhaps one of the most difficult phrases to have during charades. Poor Jason. Third lesson is that Tim gets overly upset when his answer is not picked for "Apples to Apples". Weirdly upset, but in a fun way, if that makes absolutely any sense.

This is short because I got cut off at work, forgot to write last night and was trying not too go too long without writing. And there you have it. I need to go to work. Well, actually put some pants on first, then work.

ER

Today I take you on a pop culture entry that I realize is somewhat lame, but I can't seem to help myself, the subject of which is the ER series finale. I agree with other people when they say it wasn't incredibly "wowing" or overly emotional, but I'm still okay with that. I very much appreciated just how much the episode nodded to the pilot - Rory Gilmore was obviously John Carter (witnessing a birth on her first day, not being sure that she can handle working there), Morris was in many of the scenarios Greene was in (woken by Lydia in the exam room, etc), and it was obvious in the end that Carter was going to come back and step into the mentor role that Mark had held.

Now I don't completely believe that Mark's daughter would have wound up as a med student, but I think the point is that Mark fixed her in the end, and they wanted her to be a symbol of him living on. That's okay with me. I would have loved a little more of the old cast and a little less of the new people, but some of that had to be done for the newer fans and to make those connections to Carter in the pilot. I sobbed like a little bitch with a skinned knee during the retrospective - I really liked the shots of the empty ER with scenes superimposed on the walls and floors, and they showed several moments on the show that I can never make it past without crying (don't even get me started on the episode with Mark's death - that turns into an ugly cry in about zero point five), and it was nice to hear them talk about the late Michael Crichton.

However, I barely got choked up during the actual episode. I think that was alright with me too. I was beyond thrilled that no staff member died, since there have been way too many of those over the years. I was also happy that it wasn't a stunt episode like an explosion in the ER or something along those lines. I typically love those types of episodes, but this was not the place for them. I would be interested to know what Michael Crichton (the series creator) would have written had he been alive, but I really don't think this episode would have disappointed him.

I haven't been a completely faithful ER fan these last few years - I caught an occasional episode here and there for the past few years, then watched this entire season because I knew it would be the last - but it has always held a place for me. When I was fourteen years old, I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. I had given up on wanting to be a teacher and wasn't really sure what I wanted to be. When I was even younger, I had sworn that I would never go into medicine, actually, even though I had always had some interest in disease. Then I started watching ER, and as I became more hooked on the show, I found myself wanting to understand what they were talking about. So I picked up a medical book. And another. And another. And somewhere along the line, I found out how much I loved it. I'm not saying I became a physician assistant because of ER, but it certainly helped me realize it. And for that (as lame as it sounds to be thanking a television show), I am grateful.

5

1. I wish I would have taken the day off. We had very few patients and a lot of people to cover them and it was absolutely beautiful outside.

2. It feels like a rhinoceros is trying to poke its way out of my uterus.

3. Spamalot was pretty good, but I think I might have liked it more if I had never seen a Monty Python movie (which would be quite sad, actually). It's just that you start to anticipate the lines and get mad if they don't do them well or don't say them at all. The Lady of the Lake was amazing, though.

4. It's days like today that make me wish I had a front porch or a back yard. We have the courtyard, but it's pretty shaded in there so you don't get a ton of sunlight. Plus you have to vie for the bench or sit on the ground

5. Plus there's always the danger of being attacked by one of the insanely large pigeon gangs that frequent our courtyard. It's never happened before, but I really think it could.