19 Things

1. I still suck at writing on a regular basis.
2. I’m working part-time at the Party Station till my real job kicks in. My mom’s friend was nice enough to get me a couple of shifts per week.
3. Moxy has to get vaccinations tomorrow and I’m afraid she’ll start hating us. Right now she’s darting around my feet like a psycho-cat. Or psycho-kitten, I suppose.
3. I think I just ate the one-millionth honey-roasted peanuts leftover from our wedding favors. While I still disagree with airlines getting rid of them, I’m getting kind of sick of them.
4. No, you can’t have them. I might get un-sick of them.
5. I keep thinking that the life-size cutout of Hannah Montana in our store is an actual customer and almost ask her if I can help her find anything
6. I am doing a wretched job of reading up on hematology before my job starts.
7. Then again, I have been deep cleaning my apartment this week, so I guess I have an excuse.
8. Which reminds me that both Mack and my sister are in town tomorrow, making me a very happy girl.
9. I am also very happy about the fact that Moxy is curled up in my lap. She is the sweetest kitten ever.
10. I am livid that Kenley did not get kicked off of Project Runway last night. If that is a hip-hop outfit, then I’m LL Cool J.
11. A giant pigeon died in our courtyard. Tim reports that seeds were all over its body, as if its stomach had exploded. All I saw was a lot of pigeon blood
12. This is not to be confused with The Giant Pigeon who also lives in our courtyard and is appoximately the size of a dog.
13. Actually, most of the pigeons residing in our courtyard are large. I don’t get it, because people don’t seem to be feeding them.
14. Why does the Grey’s Anatomy season premiere have to be two hours? I could maybe get away with one hour while Tim practiced or something, but two is not feasible. Looks like I’m watching it online tomorrow morning
15. I sorted through Halloween costumes at work today and now I’m trying to decide what I should be. Sadly, all our costumes are slutty ones. We can’t just go with “Flight Attendent”. No, ours is “Mile High Captain”. Classy.
16. If you’re looking for a good book, read David Hully’s memoir “My Lobotomy”. And if anyone can recommend any other medical memoirs, let me know.
17. Or read the one about the woman with the heart transplant. If you know what that book’s title is, also let me know.
18. There are two threes, so this is 19. I am boring, so I am leaving.

Prince Edward Is A Land

Every time I look at my map of the world shower curtain, I am distracted by a typo. I know this sort of thing plagues everyone. Most people these days have a fiance who registered for a map of the world shower curtain, have sisters-in-law who bought said shower curtain and have a husband who insists on hanging up the map of the world shower curtain, so I know you’re all with me here. What distracts me every time I pee is something off the coast of South Africa, named Prince Edward Isaland.

Prince Edward Isaland is just one of the many mysteries of my map of the world shower curtain. For example, why does South Africa have three capitals (Bloemfontein, Pretoria and Cape Town, in case you’re curious)? Why did the makers of the map decide that Canada should have its provinces listed and America its states while other countries have no such distinctions? Why isn’t Lichtenstein on my map, you tiny country hating bastards? What other tiny countries that I have no clue exist aren’t listed on my map?

Lately my kitten Moxy has taken to walking along the tub edge between the curtain and the liner. This gives the effect of a large animal attacking much of our Earth. Occasionally she bats the map key and glances towards the coast of Australia. I feel I should warn these countries, lest they think the United States has built a powerful war kitten and counterstrike with atomic puppies. I don’t even want to think of the damage that could be done to Prince Edward Isaland. After all, it is a land too.